Star Trek Beyond Trailer Review

Star Trek Beyond Trailer Review

Captain Kirk rides a motorbike in this movie. Yup. I'm the only one who thinks that, along with the trailer as a whole, is kind of awesome?

To give you some background here, my first contact with anything even tangentially Star Trek-related was JJ Abrams' 2009 reboot, which I still hold in high regard today. Although it's not exactly vintage Trek, the action, humour and emotional core of the franchise's essence remained. It's what got me into other Trek ephemera: the Next Generation movies and The Original Series for the most part. If Into Darkness was something of a complete and utter mess, I still appreciated the dopey tale it told, Tribble blood cop-out and all.

This would probably explain my passionate adoration for the first trailer for Star Trek Beyond, the third in the reboot series, which sees Justin Lin take over as director and Simon Pegg and Doug Jung left to pen the script following troubled pre-production.

As evidenced by my prior experience with the franchise, my vision of Star Trek has always lent more towards pulpy space adventure rather than meditative philosophy. Not that TOS was devoid of substance (its deft handling of geopolitical subject matter is now considered one of its greatest strengths), but let us not forget that it was often just as prone to excessive action (the Kirk/Gorn fight) and general silliness (those damn Tribbles again) as the Beyond trailer is hinting at.

Honestly, Kirk inexplicably having a motorbike to hand on an alien planet feels much more in keeping with the movie's campy origins than the stoic philosophising of Into Darkness et al. It's not even like the serious-minded allegories are lost amid this tirade of alien kung fu, space battles and The Beastie Boys' Sabotage. There's a pretty ominous line from Idris Elba's as-yet-unnamed villain about "the frontier pushing back".

Here, we seem to be getting a challenge to the very foundation of Starfleet, which has always suffered from a perverse paradox of righteous colonialism. An antagonist in direct opposition to that goal seems an excellent way of naturally exploring the moral ambiguity of the crew's work without having to deliver it via wrought exposition.

Besides that, the small character beats at play are promising. The Bones/Spock relationship appears to be revelling in their contradictory personalities and Scotty's reaction to the soundtrack is note-perfect. Much has been made of the song choice, with many claiming it to be a rip-off of the nostalgic tunes employed so wonderfully in Guardians of the Galaxy. This could well be true, but nothing has ever been made worse for featuring The Beastie Boys. Except a wedding reception. Never again.

Based on this delightfully offbeat trailer, Star Trek Beyond looks like a classic TOS episode expanded to a 2-hour, big-budget blockbuster. If Pegg and Jung manage to find the right balance between old-fashioned cheese and real-world import, we could be on to a winner. For now, though, let's give the movie a chance...

Star Trek Beyond is out in cinemas on 22nd July 2016

Tokyo Tribe Review

Tokyo Tribe Review

"Dogs before b**tches"

The unholy love-child The Raid and West Side Story, Japanese auteur Sion Sono's Tokyo Tribe is a Warriors-esque gangster action musical where almost every line is rapped. It's just as inherently awesome as that sounds! A propulsive explosion of shocking violence, incredible music and pure-hearted sincerity, Tokyo Tribe caters for the nichest of niche audiences. It's a work of complete, suffocating insanity; one of the most singular visions in recent memory. I wouldn't want it any other way...

In an alternate Japan, Tokyo is divided between territorial street gangs, each occupying a dazzling new level of hedonistic degeneration. A lone hope beckons from the charming Musashino Saru group, whose message of peace, love and acceptance comes to define the deceptively moralist film. When Wu-Ronz’s manically emasculated Meru unites with Buppa (of Buppa Town; where else?) to conquer all of Tokyo, he unleashes an all-out war. A parade of increasingly absurd personalities and situations follows as Tokyo Tribe seeks to enthral above all else. Our guide through the chaos is Shôta Sometani as the aptly-dubbed MC, a dispassionate observer as amused by the youth’s animalistic tendencies as Sono evidently is.

The acclaimed purveyor of intellectual exploitation is simultaneously disgusted by and revelling in his story’s self-imposed frivolity. The geniunely moving conclusion, transcending all the characters’ alpha-male posturing, is where Tokyo Tribe plays its true hand. The previous two hours of swaggering mindlessness have all been for nothing; only compassion and love can solve the senseless conflict that has driven the delightfully bonkers proceedings. Amid the neon-drenched hellfire of Tokyo’s underworld, Sono finds profundity in unbridled vacuity.

 

By celebrating, chastising and eventually galvanising a generation lost to empty self-projection, Sono has crafted a postmodernist masterpiece. Tokyo Tribe is violently affectionate, lovably vile and wholly indescribable. There is but one certainty with a film so forcefully enigmatic: you simply must see this movie.

Five-Word Verdict: A cult classic is born.

Score: 5/5

Irrational Man Review

Irrational Man Review

This image more or less sums up the rest of the review

There’s something strangely cathartic about being disappointed by a movie, as I learnt after a preview screening of Irrational Man. You know the old saying "quality over quantity"? Well, Woody Allen appears to hold a slightly different philosophy, "abundance of quantity; eventual quality". So it goes with Woody’s yearly output, for every barn-stormer like 2013's Blue Jasmine, there's a film as soufflé-light as this meandering comedy-drama. For all its intellectual posturing on the nature of morality, it truly is shocking just how little point his latest misfire serves beyond squandering knock-out turns from his charming leads on a frivolous comedy caper that’s entirely devoid of both laughs and suspense. For a long-time Allen apologist such as myself, it was a sorry state indeed.

Joaquin Phoenix is Abe Lucas, a tormented philosophy professor in need of direction whose misguided “righteous” deeds threaten to undermine the foundations of his relationship with a naïve student (the adorable Emma Stone). It’s Parker Posey, though, who tears up the screen and leaves the whole film miles behind her as a self-destructive teacher. If it weren’t for her ferocious performance and the occasional witty aside, there would be very little to recommend Irrational Man. As with most Allen pictures, the story exists to show off his knack for the interplay between overeducated intellectuals, rather than create dramatic tension in its own right. Not that Woody’s lost his touch for dialogue exchanges, but it’s baffling how limited his work comes across this time around. How is it even possible that the same man made cinema’s greatest rom-com, Annie Hall, just 30 years prior?

It’s second-tier Allen on all fronts. His actors’ chemistry fizzles without ever sparking, the conversations feel stilted, rather than free-wheeling and the tone never settles between dark caper and absurdist melodrama. Recommended only for the most ardent of Woody fans or those who will discover his previous great works through this mediocre one.

Five-Word Verdict: Liking it would be irrational

Score: 2/5

Irrational Man is out in UK cinemas on Friday 11th September

The Surface Review

The Surface Review

If Cast Away and All is Lost had a laconic baby, it would look a lot like Gil Cates Jr.'s micro-budget survival drama, The Surface. Whether or not this is good news will depend on your tolerance for glacially paced dialogue scenes and non-existent production values. Make no mistake; this is a film where even the setting moves faster than the runtime. It's a true two-hander between Lord of Rings alumnus Sean Astin, as suicidal widower Mitch, and Chris Mulkey's Kelly, at first a voice of reason, whose past mistakes gradually reveal him to be just as tortured and complex as his more extroverted counterpart. Mitch drives his boat to the heart of Lake Michigan, with grave intentions to escape his deep-seated hatred for what life has become, only to encounter Kelly as the lone survivor of a spectacular plane crash. What transpires is an 80-minute character piece, with each new line of suspicious questioning peeling back the character's stoic veneers to reveal a sorrowful gap in dire need of filling. Could they be exactly what the other needs to gain back their lust for life? I mean, what do you think? 

The film's occasionally tiresome runtime demands a strong screenplay and charismatic leads to carry its audience through large stretches of, if we're honest, nothing. Writer Jeff Gendelman has a keen eye for the alpha male posturing of the early scenes, although he and Cates struggle to maintain interest for the whole journey. Astin and Mulkey are more than capable of keeping the film bouyant (it's funny because they're on a boat). Without their nuanced, powerful and ultimately hopeful turns, the movie would have undoubtedly sank under the weight of its laborious pacing. Although it never meets the impact of other, more consequential, survival movies, the fine leads and an introspective screenplay make The Surface a sufficiently moving take on a tired formula.

Five-Word Verdict: I felt feelings. A lot.

Score: 3/5

The Surface is out on VOD, iTunes and DVD on Tuesday, 1st September

Double Review: Hard to be a God and The Burning

Hard to be a God and The Burning

On Friday 29th July, I attended my first national press screening, for Arrow Films' release of the Russian sci-fi epic Hard to be a God. Present were some of my greatest idols, including The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw. It was a magical experience to gain first-hand insight into my (hopefully) future career. Arrow also recently sent me The Burning (El Ardor in its native Argentine-Spanish), a western-inflicted thriller with supernatural undertones. Although I'm eternally grateful to Arrow for everything they provide me to review, my reactions to both films were far less than spectular...

Hard to be a God: Twelve years in the making, Aleksei German's critically acclaimed three-hour odyssey was completed by his son, Aleksei German Jr. after his untimely death. According to the synopsis, it tells the story of a group of scientists who visit the distant planet of Arkanar, and discover a society still trapped in its own medieval era.  Unable to interfere with the course of its history, they can only watch in mounting horror as all sparks of intelligent and independent thought are mercilessly snuffed out by Arkanar’s cruel rulers. In fact, barely a hint of that admittedly intriguing premise is present in this laborious waste of time. If it weren't for a heavy-handed opening voice-over, the audience would be none the wiser that Don Rumata (Arkanar's tyrannical leader) and company were from a different time, or even that this was taking place beyond earth. Rumata and his fellow astronauts are perhaps more barbaric than their native underlings, which clearly coincides with the apparent message of the movie (!).

Instead of exploring the deep moral quandaries of ruling a ghastly, putrid society, German is content to infect the screen with three hours of wandering through mounds of s**t in the service of nothing. The first half is suitably vile; never before has a film captured the sheer atmosphere of a setting so perfectly. Eventually, though, hours upon hours of misery, disgust and discomfort become monotonous. There are only so many times you can show people squatting in the mud looking for answers before the audience equally demand an explanation. Alas, a point is never made. It really is just a seemingly endless parade of depravity, all told in evocative Steadicam shots. There is no character development (or much in the way of character, in fact); no important message to be recounted; nothing worthy of interest at all in this painfully tedious film. If German's sole aim was to simulate the boredom and pointlessness of the Middle Ages, this is a masterpiece. If he was attempting to make any compelling point, it's a complete disaster. Hard to be a God is a technically astounding achievement, yet also a hollow one. 

Five-Word Verdict: Adolescent, brutish and genuinely horrible.

Score: 2/5

Hard to be a God is out in cinemas on 7th August and on Blu-ray and DVD on 7th September

The Burning: Marred by arrhythmic editing, hammy acting and paper-thin characters, this god-awful thriller features shades of Sergio Leone, but better homages the sensation of  Chinese water torture. Considered for Argentina's Best Foreign-Language Oscar entry, it provides clear evidence that the Argentine's were having a slow year for homespun releases. Gael Garcia Bernal stars as a perpetually topless water spirit (or something. I honestly can't remember) who emerges from the rainforest to rescue the kidnapped daughter (Alice Braga, a fine actress given precisely nothing to do) of a poor farmer after mercenaries murder her father and take over his property. They are also assisted by a lone jaguar, who apparently has a sixth sense: for who it would be convenient to kill at any given moment. What could have been an amiably cheesy exploitation movie in the vein of Delta Force instead ends up as a self-serious environmental polemic on how all deforesters are actually murderous anti-Christs who rape, pillage and kill for sport. For what is ostensibly a thriller, this is a potently uninteresting work; half of the movie is Bernal staring blankly into the distance (presumably searching for the character he's supposed to play!). Julian Apeztugia's magnificent cinematography and a mildly diverting final shoot-out prevent it from being outright unwatchable, yet writer/director Pablo Fendrik fails to quicken the pulse in a thunderously boring effort that, honestly, left me cold (ha). 

Five-Word Verdict: Huh? How? Why? Who? WHAT?!

Score: 1½/5

The Burning is out on DVD and Blu-ray on 10th August

The Future of A Nerdy Blogger From Cornwall or: "I Got A Job!"

An Update

I have just joined www.nextprojection.com, a brilliant film website with a wealth of talented young journalists (and also me), which means content on this blog is no longer a priority. I will still write here on occasion, but my fcous is now on Next Projection and my radio show, which you can listen to from 9-10am GMT every Saturday at http://thehub106.co.uk/.

It's staggering that this blog now has over 3000+ views, and I thank everyone who has read any of my work. Remember you can follow me on Twitter ( @The_Hamster_Boy ) to learn my bizarre thought-process.

Anyway, if I don't see you again, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight. 

P.S. The Truman Show is wonderful.

Arrow Video Double Review: Buckaroo Banzai and Cemetery Without Crosses

Arrow Video Double Review

The lovely people at Arrow Films sent me two of their latest Blu-ray releases (both are released on 20th July) to review. So, I decided to put together a double feature of sorts in order to showcase their great work. Here are my reviews of two underrated cult classics. One of them involves a heroic guitarist/neoursurgeon; the other, an ultraviolent Western, doesn't...

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai 

One of the defining cult films of the 1980s, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (that's actually the title) has inspired filmmakers such as Kevin Smith and Wes Anderson, along with its small but evangelical group of followers. Peter Weller plays the eponymous character, a half-Chinese renaissance man, top neurosurgeon, particle physicist, race car driver, rock star and saviour of the world. With his bandmates, The Hong Kong Cavaliers, he must fight against an evil alien race known as the Lectroids, lead by Christopher Lloyd's John Bigbooté (whether or not you find that funny should tell you if this movie's for you) and mad scientist Emilio Lizzardo, sporting a hysterically unconvincing Italian accent by John Lithgow. As Kevin Smith explains in a recent Q&A featured on this set, the appeal of Buckaroo Banzai lies in its creators' unwillingness to commit to anything remotely conventional. The story is nonsensical, the tone erratic and the special effects charmingly hokey, and its clear director W D Richter and writer Earl Mac Ruach couldn't care less. It's a misfit of a movie, and couldn't be prouder of it. This is a film that wears its simple intentions like a badge, whilst meeting those aspirations admirably. The cast are all game for the gleeful silliness, a young Jeff Goldblum lights up the screen as New Jersey, newbie Cavalier and talented neurosurgeon gifted some of the film's best lines. "Why is there a watermelon there", "I'll tell you later" is my personal favourite exchange (we never actually find out, much to the chagrin of the movie's devoted fans, of which I now count myself). Buckaroo Banzai was made for a highly specific audience, one with a deep affinity for sci-fi, samurai and only-half-knowing cheesiness. I happen to meet that criteria, and if you do too, say hello to your new favourite movie...

Five-Word Verdict: 100 minutes of pure joy

Score: 4/5

Extras: Besides Arrow's customary collector's booklet and exclusive artwork, this excellent set includes a commentary with Richter and Rauch, brand new interviews with Weller and Lithgow, a "making of" featurette, a Q&A, a visual essay by critic Matt Zoller Seitz, an alternate opening featuring Jamie Lee Curtis as Banzai's mother, deleted scenes, trailers and a still gallery

Cemetery Without Crosses

Directed, co-written by (with Dario Argento and Claude DeSailly) and starring French-Italian Robert Hossein, this 1969 spaghetti Western is dedicated to Sergio Leone and has the master's fingerprints all over it. Staggering wide shots, a stunning femme fatale and copious amounts of bloodshed; all it's missing is Leone's directorial verve. Not that Hossein is a poor filmmaker, but it was probably unwise to draw comparisons with one of film's greatest talents. Cemetery Without Crosses concerns the mysterious Manuel, who voes to avenge the death of his friend, employing the help of the widow (Michèle Mercier) in order to bring down the tyrannical Rogers family. It's a basic set-up, yet allows some truly effective emotional beats and an escalating sense of dread which barely relaxes for the bracing 90-minute running time. Hossein handles the obligatory shootouts with clarity and vision, executing a Leone-esque editing style, ensuring white-knuckle tension throughout. His lead performance, although a tad stilted, is underplayed in order to allow the more outlandish Rogers family to grip the audience in uncharacteristically layered villain roles. Although hardly engaging on an emotional level, Hossein's competent handling of the material and the stellar performances make this a remarkable addition to a saturated genre.

Five-Word Verdict: Good, Not Bad or Ugly

Score: 3.5/5

Extras: The typical Arrow treatment, along with a new interview with Hossein, a French news report on the making of the film, an archive Hossein interview and a trailer.