RoboCop (2014) Review

RoboCop (2014) Review

When I say I was pleasantly surprised by this film, I want you to understand my full meaning. Despite the god-awful trailers, hideous redesign and the fact that it exists at all, this is not a terrible movie. It is merely a very bad one...

For those unfamiliar, RoboCop is the story of Alex Murphy, a good cop who is critically injured in the line of duty, as the multinational (read - corrupt) OmniCorp see their chance for a part-man, part-robot police officer. This premise opens several doors to interesting satire and moral issues, both provided by the far-superior original. This version, however, is much more interested in CGI action scenes and cliched corporate douchebags than challenging it's audience with timely issues. Sure, the first 5 minutes offer a sliver of commentary on America's foreign policy, but this is instantly superseded by confusing back-story on why Murphy is attacked. 

Here we have the second major problem; the way in which our hero is put into his predicament. In the original, he was shot to kingdom come by a group of mindless thugs. It was raw, real and shocking. This time, it is a car bomb that lands him in hospital. Murphy's attack is made impersonal, faceless and reduced to an exercise for the pyrotechnic department. We don't care about this man or the attack.

Admittedly, this is largely down to arguably the biggest problem of the film: Joel Kinnaman as Alex Murphy. From what I've heard, Kinnaman is excellent in the Danish crime show "The Killing", but he is horribly miscast here. Honestly, he is so monotonic that I'm still not convinced Murphy wasn't a robot from the start.This wasted potential is spread throughout the cast. Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton, both exceptional actors, are handed the blandest, most one-dimensional characters imaginable. Jay Baruchel has proved himself a real comic talent in This Is The End and How To Train Your Dragon, but I fail to see the purpose he serves here. Presumably, to add comic relief to an incredibly self-important flick.

And so we arrive at the fourth key failure of RoboCop: there's no humour. It has it's moments, sure. The MGM logo being serenaded Samuel L Jackson(we'll get to him later)'s bizarre attempt at beatboxing is a lovely touch. And, umm, well, that's it really. What set the original apart from your average trashy 80's action movie was (along with the satire) it's pitch-black sense of humour. All that is gone here, replaced with a ludicrous sense of self-righteousness.

The fifth, and final, major pitfall will probably be the most important for your average teenager (to which this film ridiculously feels the need to pander). It is the indiscernible, poorly choreographed and strangely dull action scenes. I would not be surprised to discover that the cameraman experienced a persistent seizure whenever a character used a weapon. I'm talking Cloverfield-level shaky cam. Not only are these scenes near-impossible to follow, they are made pointless by the fact that we don't care about the man in the suit. This is partly down to Kinnaman (as mentioned earlier) and partly down to the clearly rushed screenplay by Joshua Zetumer. This is, in fact, his first screenplay, and it's easy to tell.

So, is there anything remotely redeeming about this film? Yes. There is but one element of this film that works perfectly. That is the great-in-everything wizard known as Samuel L Jackson. Every line this man utters is so venomous I'm surprised that his character's TV show (The Novak Element) wasn't filmed in the reptile section of Detroit Zoo. Jackson gets the last (and unintentionally hilarious) line of the film. He is the bright star of an otherwise vacuous film...

Five Word Verdict: Blander than a rice cake

Score: 1½/5

 Let me know your thoughts on RoboCop (2014) and what film or TV show you would like me to review next in the comments section below!