Need For Speed Review

Need For Speed Review

What do Resident Evil, Tomb Raider, Super Mario Bros. and Silent Hill all have in common? They are all successful video games adapted in horrible movies. Now, we have a new franchise to add to the list. Okay, Need For Speed isn't Resident Evil awful, but it is still pretty awful.

The film follows Tobey Marshall (Aaron Paul, whose big movie break is yet to come), a working-class car racer (*cough* oxymoron *cough*) on a revenge path towards Dino Brewster (Bradley Cooper, who really needs to fire his agent). Two years ago, Brewster framed Marshall for the death of Pete (Harrison Gilbertson), who is also Dino's girlfriend's brother. Upon release from prison, Tobey joins forces with British car-expert-or-something-person Julia (Imogen Poots, who is apparently only capable of "scared dog" and "ogling teen") and drives from New York to California to enter an illegal race organised by Michael Keaton's exposition machine Monarch. Dino is, of course, also in the race and plans to take Tobey out before he can expose the truth of Pete's death. Does that sound convoluted and needlessly complicated? Good, that's because it is.

I have always said that you need two things to make a good action movie: a likable, interesting protagonist and exciting, memorable action scenes. Die Hard is a great example of this. John McClane is possibly the most relatable action hero ever put to screen and the action by John McTiernan is crisp, clear and intense. Need For Speed on the other hand, fails spectacularly at both. Paul does what he can with what he has, which is a main character whose most distinguishable feature is his driving ability. The script never allows him to show any range, the only two emotions shown are stoic and stoic.

As for other characters; Dino is too cliched to be of any note, Julia can't decide whether she's a plucky Brit or a damsel in distress, Keaton makes as much of impression as a pencil to a brick. and Tobey's motley crew of mechanics are entertaining but entirely forgettable.

The race scenes are perhaps the film's biggest let down. For a film that advertised itself solely on "Look kids, cars going vvroom! Pretty cool, huh? Buy the games too!", I'm already struggling to remember anything other than lots of noise and shaky cam. The 3D is, unsuprisingly, pointless and adds nothing more than an extra charge for admission. The repetitive and entirely meaningless POV shots serve as more of a distraction than anything else. And, as with so many movies nowadays, the action never feels like it matters. You don't care about the characters, so why should you care about what happens to them?

There are flashes of inspiration, though. The way one of Tobey's sidekicks leaves his workplace is funnier than the highlights of most modern comedies and the slow-mo occasionally serves a purpose. The action is competently, if unimaginatively, shot. But, for the most part, this is just another soulless cash grab not long for the cinematic landfill.

Five Word Verdict: Play the video game, instead

Score: 1 ½/5

What did you make of Need For Speed? How does it compare to the games? Let me know in the comments below. My next review will probably be Labor Day (should have a "u", just saying) next weekend. Also, look out for my first article on What Culture very soon! See you next time.